Saturday, September 27, 2008

Just Keep Swimming

I think now would be a good time to tell a delightful story from my childhood. Why? Because I believe I have fully redeemed myself by keeping my 2 Betas alive and well. Four weeks and counting, thank you.

Once upon a time, there were 2 friends named Brenda and Kim. After a fun over-night sleepover, Kim's mom bids the girls adieu, tells Brenda to head on home, and leaves for her job. Brenda, not wanting to leave quite yet, goes downstairs to see Kim's magical, tropical fish. (Technically, they were her stepdad's fish, but I digress).

Brenda, always wanting to be the helpful little smurf, decided to 'assist' Kim by feeding the fish. Taking the entire fish food bucket - yes, bucket - into her hands, she proceeds to slowly pour the flakes into the large, perfectly-cleaned, temperature-appropriate, tropical aquarium. Now, the aquarium was the stepdad's pride and joy, and was filled with tens of pretty, shiny, expensive tropical fish. Fish that are fed by one person and one person only: the stepdad. Children, especially with names that rhyme with "enda", are not allowed near this aquarium.

Unfortunately, (wait for it), the bucket did not release the fish flakes one by one, as Brenda had hoped. Oh, no...they POURED into the aquarium like a child on a Slip-n Slide. A nice, steady stream of fish flakes. Many, many fish flakes.

Kim, having watched helper Brenda from the sidelines, proceeds to move directly to Panic Mode, screaming at her less-than-helpful friend. She runs upstairs to get a kitchen strainer, in the hopes of rescuing the many, and might I add once again, expensive, tropical fish, from their sure-fire death. Brenda, who has an innate ability to begin laughing upon impending doom, stands to the side, giggling. Not very helpful.

Having not found much success with the strainer, Kim calls her mother, who rushes home. Not very happy to have found Brenda still present, Kim's mother tries in vain to rescue the expensive tropical fish. Having realized her husband will be very angry, she turns her wrath on Brenda, yelling and screaming at the still-giggling blond. Fearing for her life, Brenda bolts upstairs, out the front door, and runs down the block. Kim's mother runs after Brenda, gets into her car, and chases the fugitive through the streets of the neighborhood.

Being a fast little delinquent, Brenda runs until she is out of breath, stopping only to see how close the KimMomMobile is. Knowing she cannot outrun the ever-nearing V8 engine, Brenda spies her escape in a large, evergreen tree. She dives under the large, pointy, scratchy branches of the tree, and army-crawls it to the trunk in the center. Kim's mom parks the car, and starts yelling at the now-unreachable girl. Even at a young age, it occurs to Brenda that Kim's mom must look like a total goon, yelling and screaming at a tree.

Long story, story long...Brenda was banned from Kim's home for 2 years, no evergreen trees were harmed in the telling of this story, and 13 tropical fish now rest in peace.

No comments: