Singing about Toilets

You can leave now: "Ms. G, we've talked it over as a class, and we've decided that we can live with a substitute teacher for a while. You need to leave us and go on American Idol and win!"

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Kid: When did you get married?
Me: I'm not married!
Kid: You're wearing a wedding ring.
Me: No, I'm wearing a ring on my right hand. When you wear a ring on your left hand, you're married.
Kid: So, you're not married.
Me: No, I'm not married.
Kid: Hmm. We've got to work on that

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Me: Where's your brother?

Kid: He's not coming to school today. He fell off the monkey bars and had to go get some crunchies. (crutches)

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"Ms. G. we need to stop singing so low.

If we sing any lower, we're all going to burp

and that would be rude and very unmusical."

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Kid: You'd look better with another human nearby.

Me: WHAT?
Kid. Married. You should get married. Everyone looks better with another human nearby.

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Me: What's a fife?

Kid 1: Well, a Spork is a spoon and a fork, so a Fife is probably a knife and a fork.
Kid 2: Yes, that's it - a fife is a Spork's brother!

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I had just finished telling the kiddos about the importance of taking care of the classroom instruments and how we don't have money to keep repairing them. One response:

Just how much money does it take
to fix those tangerines, anyhow!? (tamborines)

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When asked who wrote a particular piece of classical music, the standard response I receive is: Baby Einstein! While the Baby Einstein videos certainly done wonders in exposing my kids to the works of Mozart, Beethoven, and Bach, they truly believe that the name of the composer is Baby Einstein! I've got some work to do!

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I wore dark nail polish ONCE. Their reaction?

"Oooh, that's just not good look for you, Ms. G."

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Choir Kid: Why are we singing about toilets?

Me: WHAT!?
Choir Kid: Toilets. "In peril, we have plungered..."
Me: PLUNDERED. We're singing about plundering - robbing, stealing, like the bad pirates did.
Choir Kid: I think it might be better to sing about toilets!

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