Ten Little Turkeys

"Should I bend my shoulder? That's my best look."

First grader, having her school photo taken

Me: Has anyone seen my class list?

Kid: Why would we help you find that?!

Me: Because I need to see all your names.

Kid: You've written all of our names on your stick?

Me: What stick?!

Kid: The stick you're looking for!!

Me: Not STICK...LIST! I need my class list.

Kid: Oh. Nope. Haven't seen them.

"Which book is mine?"

Kinder in library

Me: What does the DC in Washington DC stand for?

Kid: Delusional Cats

"Have you learned to play the guitar...well?"

Second grader who knows I really can't play the guitar very well at all!

Me: Let's rally some fancy names people are called.

Kid: Duke (good)

Kid: Prince (good)

Kid: Queen (good)

Kid: George Washington (what?!)

"I see you've worked through your anti-pink issues, Ms. G.

How's that country music thing coming?"

Fifth grader, noting my pink shirt and questioning my least favorite genre

Me: Let's rally some animals with four legs.

Kid: dog (good)

Kid: cat (good)

Kid: sheep (good)

Kid: STEAK

Me: What?!

Kid: STEAK! It comes from a cow, and a cow has four legs. (but of course)

Me: Good point...continue!

Kid: bear (good)

Kid: lion (good))

Kid: SHRIMP

Kid: No it doesn't - it has 5 pairs of legs, so it has 10 legs, not 4

Kid: Not the shrimp I stepped on!

"You must shower every day because you always smell so good!"

Second grader, sitting right next to me

Me: I see you wrote number 10...except, I only see nine little turkeys.

Kid: Nope, there's ten.

Me: Let's count together. 1, 2, 3....9.

Kid: You missed the one in her belly - the Mama turkey got hungry and ate #10!