"Should I bend my shoulder? That's my best look."
First grader, having her school photo taken
Me: Has anyone seen my class list?
Kid: Why would we help you find that?!
Me: Because I need to see all your names.
Kid: You've written all of our names on your stick?
Me: What stick?!
Kid: The stick you're looking for!!
Me: Not STICK...LIST! I need my class list.
Kid: Oh. Nope. Haven't seen them.
"Which book is mine?"
Kinder in library
Me: What does the DC in Washington DC stand for?
Kid: Delusional Cats
"Have you learned to play the guitar...well?"
Second grader who knows I really can't play the guitar very well at all!
Me: Let's rally some fancy names people are called.
Kid: Duke (good)
Kid: Prince (good)
Kid: Queen (good)
Kid: George Washington (what?!)
"I see you've worked through your anti-pink issues, Ms. G.
How's that country music thing coming?"
Fifth grader, noting my pink shirt and questioning my least favorite genre
Me: Let's rally some animals with four legs.
Kid: dog (good)
Kid: cat (good)
Kid: sheep (good)
Kid: STEAK! It comes from a cow, and a cow has four legs. (but of course)
Me: Good point...continue!
Kid: bear (good)
Kid: lion (good))
Kid: No it doesn't - it has 5 pairs of legs, so it has 10 legs, not 4
Kid: Not the shrimp I stepped on!
"You must shower every day because you always smell so good!"
Second grader, sitting right next to me
Me: I see you wrote number 10...except, I only see nine little turkeys.
Kid: Nope, there's ten.
Me: Let's count together. 1, 2, 3....9.
Kid: You missed the one in her belly - the Mama turkey got hungry and ate #10!