Saturday, April 17, 2010

A Life of Imbalance

This is a total stream of consciousness blog post. I may not even post pictures or change the colors. Oh, who are we kidding. The colors will change. Moving on. I write most of my blogs in the car. No worries, I'm not driving and writing, I'm simply working through most of the thoughts in my head. Every time I think about driving the 20+ miles to and from friends or church, I'm actually grateful for the time in the car. That's my time to chit chat with God, to pull my thoughts together, to transition to what I'm doing next. I talk out loud in the car. I sing out loud. I've come to many realizations zooming up and down interstate 25 here in Colorado.

One realization on the drive home tonight: the imbalance of work and play in my life, and how it somehow works itself out for me. We're taught to make sure our life is balanced, but what does that really mean? I think I try for balance, but will never achieve it. And quite frankly, I'm beginning to become okay with that. I'm a worker. There's no getting around that. I'm simply wired to work hard. And the thing is, I usually enjoy it. I thoroughly enjoy it. It drives me. It keeps me going at night and gets me up in the morning. I like accomplishing things. Not for recognition, not for acclaim, but for the joy in getting them done. Pride? Perhaps. But I think a healthy dose of pride is good for people. I also think the worker in me goes hand in hand with the helper in me, too. I'm a born helper. I wrote about that years ago during a workshop - I need to go find that. It was validating and really helped others understand me. I'll find it. Tomorrow.

Back to the imbalance and how it works: take today, for instance. I worked hard today. Hard. Even now, I have work running in the background on this computer. I'll be working for another hour or so, for sure. Thankfully, this blog is fun. Therapeutic. Freeing. I have Louis and Ella filling my home with music. Good stuff. No matter how hard I work, though, I can always re-charge during play. I played tonight. Physically and mentally. It revived me. I worked from 8 - 5 today. Solid work. I played from 5 - 930. That's 9 hours of work (plus more now) and 4.5 hours of play. Horribly imbalanced. YET, though my play was half as much as my work, I'm twice as happy as I was earlier. That's where the imbalance works for me. I get so much out of my time with dear friends that it replenishes all that was taken from me during my work. My heart is happy again, no matter what the activity. A family dinner around the table. A little boy tossing leaves on my head. Chords on the piano. Giggling teenagers. Finding the stars in the sky.

It's an imbalance that works for me.

Okay, just one photo. You knew I couldn't resist. I'm a graphics and photos kind of gal. There was nothing more amusing today than having to ring the doorbell of the next-door neighbor and ask for the yellow ball that was kicked into their yard. Especially when there is a 10 year old boy standing next to you, snickering. Especially when you, the 31 year old who should know better, was the one who kicked that ball over the fence, as hard as you could. Who's 10 years old now!? :)

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